John's Journal

Entry of the 7th of July, 1968

Entry Title: Birth of a God

I have observed these beings I have come to call gods over a very long time, but never before have I seen one in the making. Previously I believed that all gods simply came into being at the same time as humans did, many thousands of years ago. There are exceptions, yes, but aside from greater beings like Life and Death they are simply human quantities that have and will always exist. This is different though, and it has been made clear that this situation will require careful observation.

I speak of course of a boy in the north of the United States, one young John Presence. He came out of the womb early, almost three full weeks, and so is small and weak but still he struggles on. Though he was born mere days ago he shows signs of rapid aging, understanding most of what is going on around him. The physiologists who have examined him believe he will speak within a a few short days, and it is unknown what will happen afterwards, though a great amount of experimentation is expected. This young boy though seems to repulse all those who study him. It is not because he is physically ugly either, he is a very average, though small, boy.

It is almost as if there is a field around him that prevents anyone from getting close. The doctors tell me that even his own mother dislikes to hold him. She loves him when he is at an arms distance, but she can not hold him for longer than several minutes without putting him down. I will have to see this for myself of course and I will depart soon, but I believe he may represent something more than a mere boy. I believe he represents the very concept of Repulsion, and that as he grows there will be more obvious signs of this godly power.

Entry of the 13th of July, 1968

Entry Title: Impossible Abilities

It seems I was correct in my assertion, this boy is something much more than his outward appearance indicates. It is strange that something like this would occur in this day and age, I though tall the gods had been born, but apparently the world is much more malleable than I expected. The boy is speaking now, though he does not understand grammar he can still communicate in a rudimentary fashion. He has also began to crawl, and is showing many signs of mental development far greater than even I anticipated.

However ignoring these developments he has also shown something positively impossible, he has the ability to move objects without touching them. This was first evidenced when upon being giving milk he threw the bottle across the room without even touching it. I was not in the room, but from what I here the reactions were to be expected, with doctors and nurses swarming in to observe this strange behaviour. I have heard of cases similar to this, though with different abilities, though I never imagined that something like this would occur in my lifetime.

Since then the boy has thrown several things across the room, though nothing larger than a bottle. It seems that he is still gaining control of this power, though if he ever does it is difficult to imagine what he might do with it. It has been determined that John will become a property of the state since the mother seems unwilling to care for him, as she is repulsed even by his presence now. I do not know what this will do to the boy's mental state, but it surely will not be good for his development.

From now on I will be one of his watchers, a group of government employees from a number of nations who have been commissioned to observe him at all times. The press has not yet picked up on this, and we will attempt to shut out the media but it is inevitable this will get out, by bribes if nothing else. When that happens who knows what kind of reaction the public will have, if they will want to burn him like a witch or worship him like a god. I pray for his soul if that ever happens, for whatever way the public chooses it will not end well for him.

Entry of the 27th of May, 1970

Entry Title: Progress

The boy now talks like someone over twice his age, I suspect that before he is five he will be more literate than most adults. His thirst for knowledge is impressive, and I suspect the only thing that keeps him going day to day as he is locked up in this cell we have created for him. Since his second birthday we moved him to a small house with a decent sized yard but I can tell he yearns for more. For now he is content with the books we have given him, though I suspect if he wants to escape he will, and there is little we can do to stop him.

Last week he moved his bed closer to the window. It is clear that he could not do it himself, so he must have used his power. This shows an unexpected increase in power since what he has last demonstrated. I still do not know if he can move people, and we hesitate to experiment, but it seems it is only a matter of time, and not much of it.

In my off days I have been searching news stories and the birth records of two years ago looking for his double. Every god I have observed has had an opposite. The relationship is often difficult to ascertain, especially with these more human qualities, but they are often intimately related. So far there has been nothing that seems unusual, though I will continue searching. Given how covered up this boy's birth was it is also possible that the girl has been hidden from the world as well, possibly in a similar are of confinement.

Within the next five years I intend to find this girl, no matter what it takes. It is imperative they meet, especially at an early age. I am sure that Fate has something to say about this as well, but I can always help things along. I do wish that I could meet one of them, and they could tell me what I should do, but alas none of the gods have shown, not even some of the lesser ones.

Entry of the 19th of December, 1975

Entry Title: Christmas

Soon it will be Christmas, a day that John looks forward to very much. We always get him new books at Christmas, and at his birthday, and though he has a nearly inexhaustible library he treasures these more than anything else. He especially likes the book I get him, and I suspect that means he likes me. I also suspect that is the reason he has not left. His powers have grown so much, that if he wanted to leave there is nothing we could do to stop him.

Yesterday we decided to try throwing snowballs at him and see if he could stop them. It seemed like it was barely any effort for him, and just like many recent exercises he seems to grow bored with the constrained tests we do. I can see in his eyes that he wishes we would really test him. The army wants to try shooting bullets by him, but we have decided it is too dangerous, after all he is just a boy.

Now though he doesn't like to be called boy anymore, and given his mental state I have adhered to that. It seems though that his "repulsion field' as I have grown to call it has grown stronger. The maids that we hire rarely last for more than a couple of weeks before asking to be re-assigned. I am one of a small group of watchers who have stayed, and all of the new watchers last longer than a month. I have noticed that sometimes the boy physically pushes people away, not on purpose, but simply by his presence others are forced away. I believe this is a manifestation of his powers, and one that he can not control consciously. It affects those who have been with him longest less, but there is still a noticeable pull. I believe it is now impossible for him to live a normal life.

I still have not found the girl who is John's opposite and it torments me to no end. Now that there are fewer watchers I have less and less time to go out and try to find her, though I still search the records at the library on my off-days. The weather here is cold but I don't mind, it kind of reminds me of home. I doubt I'll ever see that place again.

Entry of the 5th of February, 1978

Entry Title: Gone

John walked out today. I had known it was coming for some time, but I still prayed that he would wait for a few more years at least. Now a boy of nine has gone and will be forced to make his own way. I don't doubt that he can do it, after all he can take anything he wants to and no one can stop him, but still I fear that it will destroy him mentally. I tried to stop him, we all did, but he refused to listen to us, and walked out the gates. He showed his power too, he ripped the gates off their hinges and threw them into the street, though he did not harm us. He said we'd been good to him, and he regretted leaving, but he had to go and see the world for himself.

I don't blame him really, though I fear that once the world is aware of his presence things will get a lot more complicated. Maybe he will find his opposite, something that I could never do. If he doesn't I'm afraid a huge gulf will appear between him and humanity, as his repulsion field has grown stronger. Now it is not just people who are repulsed, it is objects. I have seen him fly, just a few inches off the ground but still, his power is greater than we ever anticipated. He will be worshiped as a god, and he knows it, though he detests it.

I told him about the gods that I had discovered, about how the world works, and he laughed at me. He said that it doesn't really matter what people believe, they are all proved wrong in the end. Maybe it is his readings that have given him this idea, or maybe his twisted sense of reality wherein everyone has abandoned him, even me. In those final days none of us could get close to him, and in the end we all stopped trying. In all likelihood he will survive better than the rest of us who have lived with him for these ten years, I don't know what I will do now that he is gone.

Entry of the 4th of July, 1982

Entry Title: War

They tried to kill John. I don't know what government did it, no one does really, though we all have suspicions. It doesn't really matter now anyway, they didn't succeed. Apparently John has been sufficiently paranoid these past years, especially after footage of him ripping up trees surfaced. The bullet stopped about a foot from him and was sent back to kill whoever shot it. After that everything kind of went to chaos, as John was living in New York at the time, and the UN declared John was too dangerous, and he had to be stopped.

It turns out that killing John was not as easy as decreeing it. The streets filled with tanks and soldiers and the skies filled with planes and helicopters but it didn't help. John has become a God, as powerful as any deity in any mythology, at least to us. He ripped cars from the street and ripped people apart. They never stood a chance, as he blocked their bullets and sent them back. From the little footage that was available it seems he even ripped up a small building and crushed a tank with it. I believe that only one of the original watchers or I can stop him now. Though he has not yet decided that humanity is reprehensible given his current state it is only a matter of time, and then no one will live.

I have found someone I believe might be his partner, if they were to meet then maybe we stand a chance. She was born several years earlier than him which is why I couldn't find her before. From what I understand she has developed quite a following in her home town. I hope to find her and convince her to help John, otherwise the consequences could be most dire.

Entry of the 10th of May, 1985

Entry Title: The End

John decided not to end humanity. It took a long time to find him, and even longer to convince him but I believe Anna is truly his partner. Together they are finally at peace. I do not know what will happen next, but it seems that they are done with this world. It seems I am done with this world as well, though in a different way. I was diagnosed about a year ago with terminal cancer and though they have done so much treatment it doesn't seem to be helping. I suspect we will leave at the same time, John and me, though to different destinations.

I can leave the world in peace though, knowing that whatever I did I made a difference, I saved people. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had gone with my first instinct upon seeing that babe in that room, that new god. If he had died then it would have saved so many lives, but instead I saved his. Now he ascends, and whatever happens next at least it will be over.

The beginning of something

There was a boy not too long ago who decided he wanted to travel across the country. Not too unusual, that desire to do something different, but this boy was unique. See he had no money, he had no car, and he had no plan. He figured that the whole thing wasn't so big, not really, he could just walk the place. Don't get me wrong though, this boy was extraordinary at walking, first in his class really. I'd seen him walk around the city twice just because he could. He loved moving around, even if it was for nothing, but his plan was nothing short of suicidal, and I told him as much. Didn't bother him though, didn't bother him when the entire world said he was wrong. Was just his way I suppose.

So this boy sets out, carrying a backpack with a bottle of water, a map, and a book and pens. He decided he would chronicle the whole thing. Of course I kept telling him not to go, even as he was leaving. Offered to drive him to wherever he wanted to go, to help him out with whatever he needed. Wasn't his way though I suppose, and he left all the same. I mourned for him for awhile, as long as seemed right. Figured I'd never see the boy again, and I suppose I never did. It was oh, just shy of a year later, maybe nine months when we heard anything about him.

Other side of the country someone had found his book, which had his name an address and had sent it back home. That was all there was though, no evidence of him, nor his bag. I went reading through the book, and it was longer than expected. Seemed there were nearly a thousand pages of notes, drawings, anecdotes and the lot. What does a reader do though when they're looking for answers, looking to find the truth of the whole thing? They turn to the end, so I decided to read the final entry. None of them were dated, so I just flipped to the back and found the nearest divide. It was long that ending, longer than anything else I reckoned.

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the world has changed now. I couldn't say when, there was a point where everything sort of mystified for me. I mean it all just went crazy right, the people didnt know what they really wanted and so they tried to get anything. I never understood that. Ive never wanted anything I suppose, so it makes sense that peoples needs mystify me. Maybe if I tried to be more human, to be less of me I would understand the materialism that seems to occupy everyone. They want me it seems, and I dont know why. Im not special, I figure im pretty much no one but thats not what they think. Maybe neither of us is really right, its all just a difference of opinion.

either way I dont think Ill becoming out of this one. There have been a few close shaves but I mean these people are so full of desire, their lust will destroy them and itll destroy me. If anyone finds this, and Im sure someone will just tell them that I loved them. I know it didnt seem that way, that at times I was brutish or cold, but it was just my way. Im sure they know that but still, I feel I need to say it now. Best way to make up for my sins would be to tell them all, tell the whole story. Some names will be changed to preserve the dignity of those involved, but all the events depicted below are true. Reading through them it seems Im a bit of a bad person, and I suppose I might be, its not my right to decide that.

I stole from a van on the first day of my travels. I had no food and they had lots, I figured they wouldnt mind. They probably didnt even  notice, they were members of the good and plenty, a happy family apart from the rest of the suffering in the world. I lied to get my way onto a train. I acted vulnerable to cheat my way through the barriers, said I had to get to my mother and father. I hurt someone in a bar. He insulted me and I could not let it go. I hurt someone in the middle of nowhere just because I could. I hurt someone and Im sorry.

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It continued on like that for pages and pages. Flipping to the first couple of entries they were very brief and mentioned nothing like the so-called sins that the boy did. It lead to a question, did he really write that last entry or did he simply lie in all his earlier entries? I thought I knew the boy, but he was always a drifter, apart from his friends and family and me. There were a few locations in his book, if I could only find them I might be able to figure out what had really happened to him. Sometimes all we need is a little closure, even if we only find misery at the end, it is better than not knowing.